Archive for July 31st, 2009

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REBUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN

July 31, 2009

NARCONON REFLECTION

Here is a realization – one of many today from a Narconon drug treatment student, who had abused alcohol.   It is written with the hope that others will know that there is hope for them also.

“Today I had a realization that the lack of a relationship with my children has been an important factor in my relapsing.  It has become a catch 22 for me.  When I think of my children, I become sad and angry with myself and my life.  I don’t deal with pain very well so I want to kill the pain.  Drinking did that for me.  The cycle begins and I become more distant from my children because I can’t be with them if I am drinking.  This makes me want to drink more.  The other day when I got news that the company that I work for was being shut down, I was very sad and angry.  I realized that I didn’t think about drinking until someone else said something.  This is a big change for me and I feel happy that my coping skills have changed.

After having realized this, I also later realized that shame has been a controlling factor in my life.  I have held on to many things from my past that prevents me from growing as a person.  On the outside I can appear happy and confident.  I never want people to see what is actually going on, on the inside.  I realized that holding on to the past serves no purpose in my life other than to keep me drunk.

The past cannot be changed and I don’t have to continue the life path that I had been on. I deserve to be loved and respected.  It will take time to earn trust and rebuild relationships with my children.  I don’t need to hold on to or hide the demons I have on the inside.   I can release them and live my life as I have always wanted to.

I can be a good father, boyfriend/husband, employee, friend and son.  I have many great qualities and talents.  I can get and reach goals.  I can be in and contribute to strong positive relationships.  I don’t have to live in shame and I am not responsible for every problem that comes up in life.  I can work through issues and with the people I love to make their lives and mine better. “

Narconon Drug Rehab – for Xanax, methamphetamine, alcohol, cocaine, pot and other drugs of abuse.

877-413-3073